Death at the Fireside Inn: 1920s Historical Mystery (Veronica Vale Investigates) by Kitty Kildare | Author Guest Post

Unsolved murder is one of the reasons I write mysteries. I’m fascinated by what motivates people. We all have the capacity to be kind, but so often, the impulses win out. Anger, jealousy, or despair can lead to terrible things.

In my novels, I ensure those who’ve been hurt, the underdogs, and the victims, have justice. Their friends and families get closure. There’s nothing better than writing a cozy crime, seeing the criminals caught, and ensuring this wonderful world thrives for another day.

But just in case you think murder is the best option, always have a plan. The best murderers have a plan. Those who don’t plan, plan to go to jail.

And a devious criminal needs…a tip sheet. Better known as a trusty I’m gonna get away with murder list.

Here are tips if you want to get away with your own crime (and this is only for fun. If any of you point the finger at me after doing the dark deed, I had nothing to do with it.)

Tip one: Get an alibi. You can get someone to lie for you, or tell people you were somewhere else at that time and have them vouch for you.

If you want to be sneaky, adjust a clock in your room and make sure there’s a picture or a video camera image of you in the room at that (fake) time. Of course, your clock will show you couldn’t have been anywhere near the victim.

The tricky thing with involving others is they often have consciences. And what if they decide to use that against you? You could be on the receiving end of blackmail, and then you’re back to square one and have to commit another murder.

And that’s the interesting thing about murder. The first one can lead to another, and you unfurl a web of tangled troubles.

Another thing to consider is what if your false alibi friend argues with you and you fall out? Would you trust them not to go to the police? Or would you find yourself stirring a poisoned cup of tea and handing it over with a saccharine smile and waiting for them to die? Oops! There goes another one.

Alibis are important to get right, but difficult to fake.

Tip two: Hide the blood. But why would you leave a mess? After all, the plastic sheeting should have been down before you went to work!

If things got messy, don’t believe what you see on the TV. Bleach doesn’t get rid of blood. And you need it gone. Having even a single drop on you could be enough to convict you of the crime.

How does a messy killer clear up evidence? Buy detergent with an active oxygen cleaning system. Mix up the powder in a bowl of water, clean the entire room, yourself, and your clothes, and those bubbles will corrupt the blood, degrading the evidence.

The next time you’re in the store, browsing the carving knives or wondering if you could sneak that rat poison into your basket, also grab the active oxygen detergent.

Tip three: If you have more evidence to dispose of, water is a good place to hide things. But choose somewhere tidal. Those police divers love to wade about in the freezing gray water to find the evidence you concealed.

If that won’t work, look down. Drains are excellent at scurrying things away to sea.

Tip four: Innocent people don’t give extra information when questioned. It’s only the guilty who get loose lipped. Play it cool, be respectful to the police, and only tell them what they need to know.

Tip five: If all else fails and they’re coming for you, have a backup plan. You need somewhere to hide. I like Spain. It has a laid-back attitude to taking in criminals. In the UK, there was an infamous case known as the Great Train Robbery. In 1963, a gang stole £2.6 million from a train. Most of the robbers snuck off to Spain, where they lived the high life and only got captured when they got old and came back to the UK to spend their last days with their families.

Have a bag packed, make sure you’ve got your passport, and sneak away. If you make it out, I’ll interview you on a sunny beach once you’re settled. We’ll sip mojitos—I’ll be buying, just in case you have a bottle of something you shouldn’t tucked about your person—and I’ll write you into my next mystery.

Remember to plan so you can get away with murder.