Where do I fit in? Have you ever asked this question? I have been feeling that way lately. I used to be a wife. Now I am a widow. I used to be a mom of little ones who depended on me for everything. Now I’m a mom of (almost) two adults. My son will be 18 in October, and my daughter will be 21 in November!
There are these forms and questionnaires that make me feel like I don’t actually count as a mom anymore. You know the ones. The ones that ask you how many children you have…that are UNDER 18….as if all of the sudden when they turn 18 you’re not a real mom anymore. Like, oh you gave birth, but hey, they’re 18 now, so you don’t have a right to say you’ve got kids anymore?
My kids still need me! Can’t you ask me how many kids I have and just leave it at that? Or maybe I’m just too old to have an opinion on mothering now. Is that what this form is implying? Maybe not. But I can tell you that that is how it makes us moms feel. We have a whole lot of wisdom and experience we could share with you younger moms. But, whatever, our kids are older now, so we’ve lost our skills, I guess.
See? I’ve kept them safe up til this point…. (Middle kid isn’t mine!)
And then we’ve got the forms that you fill out that don’t have widow/widower listed as a relationship option. I have to put single. Hey! I’m not single by choice, so please don’t make me check single on this form. Let me tell you that I was married, but my husband died. I was a wife, and I had a place where I fit. Yes, I am single now, but I am more than that.
What is the point of this post? I am not sure. Maybe someone else has felt like this and reading this will let them know they’re not alone in their feelings. Maybe it is just me. I will probably have more to say about this in the future. I just needed to get it off of my chest. I do fit in! And I have valuable advice…like don’t drink the milk…it’s spoiled!
Video from YouTube