Welcome to Piney Falls: A Cozy Historical Murder Mystery (Piney Falls Mysteries) by Joann Keder | Character Guest Post

Thank you for joining us today. We know you’re a busy man, running Cosmic Cakes and Antiquery. You mentioned there are few things you don’t wish to discuss, and we’ll do our best to honor your wishes.

I’m not going to talk about anything that happened more than two years ago.

Yes, we have that in our notes. Will you tell us your name?

Cosmo Hill.

That’s an unsual name. How did your parents–

Nope.

Right. Sorry, I forgot. How did you come to own a bakery and an antiquery? Those two things don’t seem to go together.

More than two years ago, but I’ll allow it. In small towns, businesses are often combined. On your way into town, you probably saw Buddy’s Bar. What you didn’t see was on the back side of that building, there is a quick care doctor’s office. One opens, the other closes. You might say one creates business for the other. There’s talk a local woman wants to open a sauna in the back of the clothing shop. See how we all support each other?

Wilber Gazz closed Gazzeria Antiques and Pottery Store when his wife had her pottery accident.

Can I interrupt for a minute? What kind of pottery accident?

(He sighs heavily and folds his muscular arms across each other.) Gilda always had more enthusiasm than brains. She was in this phase where she made clay masks of everyone in town and then painted them to look like famous people.

She was working on Boysie Lumquest, the police chief. She wanted to paint his mask to look like Clark Gable. Boysie refused to sit and let her practice on him, so she put all of that toxic paint on her face. Her last words were, “thicker mustache.”

After that, Wilber closed down everything.

That’s um…interesting.

He asked me to take over his business and I told him I’d just move all of his antiques into the empty space in my building. It’s worked out well, folks can wander around looking at antiques while they sip their coffee and eat their pastries.

Can you explain why all of your pastries are square?

Squares are significant to me. If you read “Welcome to Piney Falls,” you’ll learn all about my perfect childhood and what connection I have to squares.

Really?

I believe that’s called, “being facetious. My childhood was anything but perfect. And no, we’re not talking about it.

You have a twin sister, Cedar Hill. Can you tell us about her?

We’re alone in this world, with no other family so we’re especially close. I admire her. She’s driven and beautiful. After all we’ve been through, some people would sit and cry. Not her. One day my sister will be the president of a corporation somewhere. I’ve heard she’s also the best-dressed woman in town. Not that those things make any difference to me.

This morning when I was eating what I think was oatmeal at the Spruce Bark Motel, a man who would only call himself, Ed Junior, told me about all of the deaths in this community. What can you share about those?

Here’s what I’ll tell you: people around here don’t like outsiders. They try to be all friendly with their tourism incentives, but deep down, they don’t want anyone digging into their business. It’s been that way for over a century. If you go to the public library, you can read up on the Scheddy sisters. Terrible tragedies.

If there are a lot of deaths here, and I’m not going to comment one way or another, folks don’t want you digging into it. Doing so may invite a world of hurt, and you don’t look like a person who handles pain well. Got it?

Got it. Changing topics, you are a ruggedly handsome man, if you don’t mind my saying so. Is there a Mrs. Hill? Are the ladies of Piney Falls falling all over themselves for you?

(He chuckles. This reporter feels flushed.) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? I don’t think I’m anything much. There is someone who’s caught my eye. She doesn’t seem to feel the same way about me, so we’ll see where this goes. Never been married, not in any hurry to get there.

One last question for you, Mr. Hill. You mentioned the Scheddy sisters who built this town up from a lumber mill to an actual community. I did do my research! What do you know about them that might help our readers better understand them?

They put all they had into making this world a better place. Unfortnately, the result was disastrous, but you have to admire them for trying. Way back when I was…never mind. Let’s just say I’ve built my business the same way they did—with hard work and honesty. Are we about done? I’ve got cinnamon rolls in the oven.

Yes, that was it. I’d like to leave my card with you, in case you have questions. Also, if you find the lucky lady in your life has other plans, you can give me a call.

Thanks, and can’t see myself doing that. Would you like a scone? Pluto Peach is our special today.

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